The Perfect Speech – Are emotions ugly?

I have a 9-year-old daughter who just finished primary school. The school decided to create some memories with the kids, and the graduation ceremony was a beautiful moment of parental pride.

As usual, a student was chosen to read the speech, and it was a delight to watch such a young girl bravely speaking in front of so many people. The girl was very emotional. It was a special day, different from the usual, and she was probably a bit nervous as well. With a few hugs and kind words, the teacher helped her get through the moment and finish her speech.

The audience was happy, it was a beautiful speech, and she was the sweetest thing. They were all emotional about the end of this first step of their academic journey.

This got me thinking: would the reaction be the same if this sweet little girl were an adult?

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Coming home, I kept thinking about this. Is showing emotions a strength or a weakness as a speaker? Does it help or harm your cause?

That’s when I remembered a terrible event from 2017. It was October, and fierce wildfires raged across many parts of the country. One morning, we woke up to the most horrifying news. Due to miscommunication, the road wasn’t closed as it should have been, and dozens of people died in their cars, caught by the fire as they tried to escape the inferno. It was a devastating shock for everyone.

Later that day, the Minister of Internal Administration addressed the nation. There were no words to justify what had happened or to soothe the crowd. She was shaking and couldn’t stop tears from falling. Many times, we couldn’t understand what she was saying, overwhelmed by nervousness and grief.

Voices were raised from everywhere. She was weak, unprofessional, and looked guilty. No one wanted her emotions.

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Do they care?

So why do people love an emotional graduation speech, but were so hard on the Minister?

Audiences want emotion; that is what connects them with the speaker. But is there a right kind of emotion? It all depends on the context and the audience.

Naturally, we need to remember that cultural factors limit this analysis. Conditions may differ in other parts of the world, but the issue was the position of authority. If you are in a position of authority, you should maintain your composure.

You can’t burst into tears in a corporate meeting because things don’t go as well as you’d like. You can drop some tears if you’re doing a toast at your kid’s wedding.

Examining these two situations helps us understand what happened. The audience shared the same mood as the girl—happy and proud of the little ones. Things were different with the Minister. When you’re grieving family members and friends because of someone else’s mistake, and the person representing those people is crying… it almost felt offensive. The audience didn’t want sympathy; they wanted answers and solutions, even when none were possible.

Is there a right answer?

While many people don’t expect you to show emotions, doing it right can make your speech stand out. However, remember that the most important part of your speech is still the audience, not you.

It is important to show emotions, but still be in control. An overwhelmed speaker can be misinterpreted. Practice is important to help you with this, but if you still feel overwhelmed, stop for a minute and breathe. A good pause at the right moment can help you connect with your audience.

Share stories. They improve your speech, and it is more acceptable to show emotions over a story than a list of facts.

Remember that you have a message. Your audience is not your therapist; you’re not simply venting. If you’re speaking, there is a goal and a message, and you must keep them at all costs. Never use your emotions to cause discomfort or manipulate the audience – you’ll lose them.

The most important thing is to pay attention to your audience and their feelings. Sometimes, they need a strong leader to tell them what to do, and sometimes, they need to know that you’re all in the same boat.

So, are emotions ugly?

No, emotions are human. In speeches, they aren’t good or bad — they are tools. Like any tool, their power lies in how we use them. A heartfelt tear can unite a room; the same tear, in the wrong context, can unravel trust.

Emotion is what makes a speech human. But being in service of your message — not controlled by your feelings — is what makes it effective.

So maybe the real question isn’t whether emotions belong in speeches, but whether we, as speakers, are ready to feel with purpose. To be honest, without being chaotic. To move others while staying steady ourselves.

The perfect speech isn’t one without emotion—it’s the one where emotion helps the audience feel something true.